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Good Parenting Is A Learned Skill
Good
parents have great potential to change the world in a positive way. In the
craziness of everyday life such as work, family, health, house payments,
bills, etc. it can be challenge to be a great parent and do all that is required
of you.
Being a good parent is not something people are born with
the instinct to do. It is a skill like any other that is learned and improves
with experience. With life keeping us busy, we need to always be looking for
ways to fine tune and improve our parenting skills.
Parenting is a Priority
If you are raising children then you need to make
parenting
the priority. Many parents think it is more important to be to be their
children’s friend than it is to be their parent. Let me be very clear on this
point. Your children will have friends. They NEED a parent. It is ok to be
friends with your child but you must always know when the parent needs to be
present.
Be a Role Model
Children learn by observing role models. You need to
realize that YOU are their role model. You need to set good examples for your
child. I always find it funny how some parent will lecture their kids on
important issues like smoking and drugs while smoking right in front of their
children. Sorry, the adages do as I say, not as I do just doesn’t cut it in
parenting. Be the role model.
Children Need Boundaries
Children MUST have boundaries. They need to clearly
understand what the boundaries are and what the consequences are if they cross
those boundaries. If your child breaks a rule, they need a consequence for that
action. The consequence needs to be appropriate for the situation and
consistent. Lack of follow through or consistency in consequences is one of the
most common and the biggest mistake many parents make. It is much easier to
maintain control if you don’t give it away!
In two parent homes BOTH parents must follow the same
rules of engagement. Children are smart! They will learn to exploit any
inconsistencies between parents. In
Single parent
homes make sure that any other person who might interact with your children is
on the same page as you and doesn’t counteract your rules.
This is a hard one folks. In serious cases,
don’t confront them when you are angry.
Once you “loose it” and start yelling, you’ve lost the battle. It is much better
to send them to their room until you cool down. This will also give you time to
think about what you will say before you address the issue. There was more than
one occasion when I grounded one of my daughters to their room for the rest of
their lives! Do you think they believed me?
Quality Family Time is Important
Make time for family time. Family dinner is one of the
best places for talking about your day and growing your relationship with your
child. Shut off the TV or radio and listen to what they have to say. Building
open honest communication with your children is important. You want them to be
able and willing to come to you when they have questions or are faced with
challenges that could have a profound affect on their life IF they make the
wrong decision. This trust and openness is built over time by having good
communication.
Article Source:
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/good-parenting-is-a-learned-skill-777567.html
About The Author:
With our latest
adoption,
two girls aged 2 and 5; we will have been active parents of children under 18
years old for almost 30 years. The required training classes, many hours of
support groups for foster care and adoption, and trial and error, we have
learned a few constants that have helped us tremendously. For more on parenting,
adoption, foster care and a closer look at our family please visit us at
For My Kids World
Webpage by
Paul Susic
MA
Licensed Psychologist Ph.D. Candidate
(Health and Geriatric Psychologist)
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