My Life and MS

By Jeana Wisnesky

Jeana's Journal Page #4

Hello again,

When I came home, I couldn't even hold my father in my arms, and tell him that I loved him. To give him a kiss was out if the question because my wheelchair did not fit through the bedroom door. My mom and dad's house wasn't wheelchair accessible for people with disabilities. At that moment, I really wanted to ram the door frame to mom and dad's bedroom, to make it wider, but I didn't. I had to be content rubbing his arm, when I really wanted to hug him sooooooooooo bad. It was one of those times it really mattered to me that I had MS. Don't get me wrong. I hate having MS, but most of the time, I can tolerate it.

If I could have gone home more often this past year, I would have. I wanted to spend every moment I could with him. Unfortunately, my parents couldn't take care of me. They didn't have adequate equipment, and my mother is in her seventies. I require the use of a hoyer, so I had to be content with phone calls, and occasional visits from them both when dad felt okay.

Life is kind of ironic. After I was diagnosed with MS, I couldn't wait to get my own place. I felt like my parents were smothering me with pity. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have never moved out. His passing away, made me face the realization, that my parents would not always be here. I foolishly went through life, thinking mom and dad would be around forever. Somehow, I always thought pop would beat the odds, but of course, he didn't.

Take care, and until next time
 
Jeana

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