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10 Easy Steps For A Healthy Relationship 

By: Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone 

healthy relationshipsAre you ready for real love? In this day and age of fast-paced and short-lived relationships, itís challenging and many times difficult, to find good, solid, effective, and useful, information that helps to build healthy and long-lasting romantic relationships. Whether youíre single, married, divorced, or looking-to-be-married, these time-tested steps will help you and your current or future mate to create a long-lasting romantic bliss:

1) Always Be Your ďTrueĒ Self

You are wonderfully and uniquely made by a loving Creator. If you find that you have to act or try to become someone you werenít born to be, in order to fulfill someone elseís expectation, then something is seriously wrong. A true love will appreciate you for who you are and what you bring to the relationship, and vice-versa. If you feel as if youíre being pressured to alter your character to do things you wouldnít usually do (drink, drugs, pre-mature sex, lie) so that the person will continue to see you, thatís a certain sign that things are unhealthy. Your true love will gladly embrace you just for who you areóso donít be afraid, step out in faith and show your true self.


2) Develop Deep Communication with Each Other

A healthy relationship goes much deeper that a surface affair. Even though you may both look good arm-in-arm, or standing next to each other, whether at a concert, family reunion, Movie Theater, or at church, can you talk when youíre alone? Whatís going on in your conversationsóare they deep and meaningful or surface and bland? Do you discuss personal hopes, dreams and goals, or just talk about the weather and the plot to the latest drama? Can you count on each other to lend a listening ear, good advice, and undivided attention?
Good, honest, and deep conversation will keep you deeply connected. When in doubt, talk it out. Always keep the lines of communication open in your relationship.

3) Donít Ignore, but Explore Your Differences

Do your personalities blend well? Is one of you on the optimistic path while the other is on the pessimistic side of the road? Opposites may initially attract, but eventually they can repel each other. Itís important that your personalities are compatible.
If one views life through rose colored glasses, while the other is always singing-the-blues, then you have to make some sort of adjustment to accommodate each other. The simple truth is oil and vinegar make an excellent salad dressing, but they donít mix well in romantic relationships, unless both personalities can explore each other and find some sort of balance. If you can adjust and love each otherís personalities, regardless of any differences, and bring out the best when youíre together, then this is a winning combo, and you could very well be a dynamic-duo in a life-long healthy relationship.

4) Share Similar Interest and Values

You donít have to have the exact interests. As a matter of fact, having diverse preferences can help you to share new and exciting things with each other. However, make sure you have at least a few common interests, so it wonít be an ongoing battle over what to do and where to go to keep you both satisfied. You may have to compromise in some areas like sports, politics, movies, shopping, music, etc. Keep in mind that compromising doesnít mean depriving each other of their individual interests but instead it means participating in each otherís interests.

5) Discuss Your Spiritual Beliefs Together

If youíre not on common ground with your beliefs about who and what God means to each of you, this will eventually cause a rift in your relationship. Donít try to conceal your true beliefs and hope that it will all just one day fall in placeóit wonít. Make sure you talk about your faith honestly and openly with each other.

Also See Page #2 10 Easy Steps For A Healthy Relationship

About the Author:
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone, on-air staff psychologist for the former Queen Latifah TV show, is one of Americaís foremost relationship consultants. She is an award-winning, bestselling author of ten popular books, including 10 Bad Choices, The Band-Aid Bond, The Sacred Bond and You Deserve Healthy Love, Sis! Dr. Grace is currently the popular relationship columnist for the London-based Pride magazine.

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